FROM A DEVOTEE, BHIKKHU learnt of a young man who had applied the perception of repulsiveness to contemplate upon a lesion that had developed on his girlfriend’s leg, then perceived her entire body as a wound, had a rude awakening to a sense of disenchantment with her, and recently entered monkhood with her full blessing. 

It isn’t running away from life but going in search of the true meaning of life that is embodied in stories like this. Don’t be afraid, thinking you’d lose your boyfriend or girlfriend. The girlfriend would do well to make the boyfriend’s life an object for contemplation; as does the boyfriend his girlfriend’s life. Both be candid with each other. View this malodorous life not as a wodge of delectation but as a wound, an abscess. 

While continuing to remain in lay life, you can still incorporate in your life the essence of the Dhamma. If one could ordain as a monk, that would be ideal. But at no time will Bhikkhu approve of someone hastily entering monkhood; that is, to be in a hurry to become a monk. A skilful one needn’t become unskilful. One who has properly developed the perception of impermanence will never be in a hurry. Nobody need be scared for him, for he is well within the protection of the Dhamma. For a monkhood of more excellent quality, we ought to have patience in us.

During the time of the Buddha, there was a most exemplary couple known as Pipphali and Bhaddā Kāpilānī, young children of two immensely wealthy Brahmin families. For all that his parents bringing many a marriage proposal, Pipphali refused to consent. He had his heart set on getting ordained instead. The parents, taking a firm stance, threatened to commit suicide if Pipphali refused to get married. Pipphali had to acquiesce to the parents’ demand.

Pipphali’s bride was the maiden Bhaddā Kāpilānī. She, too, was a young lady who had shunned marriage, intending to get ordained. They made a pact; they resolved that they would get married, only to get ordained after the demise of the parents. They got married, having a big wedding. The outside world was under the impression that the marriage consummated. But never did this young couple allow their resolve to unravel. Until the demise of their parents, they led a celibate life. They didn’t so much as touch one another. This Pipphali would be the great arahant venerable Mahā Kassapa, and this Bhaddā Kāpilānī, the arahant bhikkhunī venerable Bhaddā Kāpilānī.

It is to tactically quell your desire for sexual pleasures that the revered-youth must emulate these characters. Resolve from within your life thus: This week I shall lead a celibate life; This week, giving alms, I’m going to lead a generous life; This week I shall abide by the higher moral precepts; This week, reflecting earnestly on the qualities of the Triple Gem is how I’m going to lead my life. By all such conduct, what takes place in you is ‘letting go’ (nekkamma). This mind of letting go alone is what’s going to help you notice the impermanence of the five clinging aggregates ―form, feeling, perception, volition, and consciousness.

Buddha says to venerable Nanda, “Not only in this life, Nanda, did I save you from Janapadakalyāni.1 In a previous birth, when you were a mule and I your master, you were serving me, pulling my cart. And Janapadakalyāni, born as a female mule, beguiling and seducing you, tried to lure you away to the forest. Then too, it was I who saved you. In another birth you were born as a hog at Janapadakalyāni’s household. She fed you well and fattened you; And this very Janapadakalyāni, on the day of her wedding, slaughtered you for meat.” Alas, the bond, the clinging, emanating from the round of rebirths.

‘Becoming’ (bhava) is the milk that exudes from the udder of the cow known as ‘clinging’ (upādāna). The milk called ‘becoming’ conjures as it pleases various fivefold tastes2 out of birth (jāthi). It is endless and without pause. The past is mute. The present is voluble. In this life, we all are fantastic human beings. Giving ourselves high marks, we ourselves prepare a report card. In it, no marks are given for Buddha-dhamma. It is but Economics that has been given top marks. Now life is indeed a whole bunch of numbers. 

Henceforth think of venerable Nanda, think of Janapadakalyāni. The sweetheart who’s at your side in your wedding photograph glinting inside the glass cabinet in your living room; close as she may be to you at this moment, positively beaming, how untold a suffering you must have had to put up with because of her in the round of rebirths! How ineffable a suffering she must have had to endure because of you! Also see, from the very happenings mentioned above, that she who is your beloved in this life wasn’t your beloved just in this life. If what lies before your life is of so trifling a value as this, then don’t let numbers be the measure of the meaning of life. Let faith and confidence (saddhā) in the Triple Gem, moral virtue (sīla), and almsgiving or generosity (dāna) be the stuff that matters in life. If you’d rather add zeros to [what you’ve accumulated in] life, what you’re thus adding to your life is nothing but suffering. If you, for the sake of almsgiving, generosity, let go of what you receive and amass, what you’re so letting go of is also suffering. 

Yesterday a revered-youth came to meet Bhikkhu. He is married. He tells Bhikkhu, “venerable Sir, I’ve saved two hundred thousand rupees which I’ve earned with the greatest difficulty. I want to use it to buy an almirah for the house. The rest I’m going to spend entirely on next month’s benevolent religious activity.” Lo, he attached a most inestimable value to his hard-earned savings! You should have the gumption to attach the world’s greatest value to the money earned by the sweat of your brow. Don’t squander that money on things that beget suffering. To bank your savings in almsgiving or benevolent activities is to safely deposit that money. The above young man, too, spent what he needed for the piece of household furniture and safely deposited the rest. Without any misgivings or fear, bank in the banking system known as ‘giving alms’, ‘generosity’ (dāna).

It is for the revered-laity that this note is being penned. If one be heedless (pamāda) of almsgiving or stingy with giving alms, they must necessarily expect ill health for themselves and the ménage all the time; for it is only through giving alms that a person receives longevity, good looks, comforts, and strength. If you were reluctant to give alms in this life, or if the practice of almsgiving had been wanting in the previous life, it is then that you would contract illnesses often. Suppose someone is niggardly to charitably give as alms, devoid of greed and with belief in karma and karma-results, a certain amount of what they earn. Then he or she will surely have to spend on medication and hospital bills an amount much greater than what was not spent on giving alms. That a person averse to giving alms having to spend so much more on drugs and medical bills is nothing but a phenomenon of cause and effect.

Giving alms, or generosity, is the secret to worldly pleasures. It is to perfect your moral conduct and faith and confidence in the Triple Gem, to develop the fivefold spiritual-faculties,3 with the sole aim of extricating yourself from [being liable to fall into] the fourfold hell, that you must use these pleasures. Otherwise, the pleasures you managed to tactically unearth unto your life will end up being yet another karma-formation (saṅkhāra) that becomes impermanent after fruition. Due to almsgiving you get good health, and that good health, in turn, gives you the ability to tread the path of the Dhamma comfortably. And likewise, not giving alms results in ill health, and due to illnesses you will grow distant from the path of the Dhamma.

The male lay disciple Ugga the householder was a non-returner (anāgāmī) living at the time of the Buddha. As was the female lay disciple Nandamātā4 of Velukanṭa. Both of them offered up alms to the Saṅgha on a regular basis. There was an amazing thing about the way Nandamātā gave alms. She would be overjoyed at the giving of alms beforehand, she would rejoice, reminiscing about it afterwards, and she was ever joyous during the almsgiving as well. This was a wonderful quality she possessed. So, even those lay disciples who were non-returners held almsgiving in the highest regard. If you often make the Mahā Saṅgha in its entirety the object of your offering when giving alms, unconcerned whether it is the village monastery or the forest hermitage, it is such almsgiving that will confer the highest consequential merit.

With the faculty of wisdom, descry the danger revered-you are faced with. If you be wanting in faith and confidence (saddhā) in the Triple Gem, you’ll lapse into Wrong View (micchā-diṭṭhi). Fail to abide by moral precepts (sīla) and you won’t take rebirth as a human or celestial being. If you don’t give alms (dāna), you’ll be reduced to life forms lacking in longevity, good looks, comforts, and strength. Fail to develop loving-kindness (metta) and you won’t get a beautiful, comely, or pleasing appearance again. 

Despite the pall cast over our lives by the spectre of so grave a perilousness as this, we still give priority to work. We think, if we didn’t attend to the business, we’d be left with no income; if we had no money, we wouldn’t be upwardly mobile; if we didn’t get married, our lineage wouldn’t continue. It is a litany of expectations as puerile, shallow, and ephemeral as this that we give precedence. Alas, how we live flirting with danger, far removed from the means of averting the danger!

If you, revered-laity, are to have a good life, both in this life as well as in the next, you must give priority to these two things occurring due to cause-and-effect phenomena: Reflect with the faculty of wisdom on the danger looming large and enter the path of escaping the suffering known as ‘birth’. If you start thinking about the above matters that remain concealed from us, that’ll be an excellent first step in making a firm resolve.

A devotee asked from Bhikkhu thus: “I’m a person who regularly gives alms, venerable Sir. Am I also in ignorance?” 

Revered-you won’t extricate yourself from ignorance just by giving alms. Ignorance―avijjā―means not knowing the Four Noble Truths. That means, unawareness of the four things: suffering, cause of suffering, cessation of suffering, and the Noble Eightfold Path leading to the cessation of suffering, is ignorance. It is only because you don’t know that the world is suffering (dukkha) that you keep looking for pleasures with the eye and the sights that meet the eye, keep looking for pleasures with the ear and the sounds that reach the ear. As is the case with the other faculties. You see these things not as a suffering but as a pleasure. Therefore, the alms you give would be one given seeking to acquire a pleasure that transmutes into a suffering. Alms given in expectation of pleasures would indeed fall within the remit of ignorance.

Having discerned that the world is suffering, when you give alms to lessen the craving (tanhā), which keeps you lashed to suffering, it is such almsgiving that will nudge you out of the remit of ignorance.

It is not just the money, the food, the beverages, but rather your craving, which begets suffering through those very things, that you must give away as alms. Only the one giving away the craving would incorporate in their lives the truest meaning of almsgiving. So, revered-laity, when offering alms, have a firm resolve that you will give alms only to rid yourself of craving.

1 Janapadakalyāni, a most beautiful maiden, was said to be the prettiest girl of that kingdom (The sobriquet ‘Janapadakalyāni’ loosely translates as the “Grace of the Kingdom”). She was engaged in marriage to Prince Nanda, the half-brother of Gautama Buddha. But Nanda, instead, while festivities and preparations for his coronation and marriage were underway, accompanied the Buddha back to the vihāra and ordained as a monk.

2 Used here as a simile, fivefold tastes refer to the five types of traditional rich dairy products derived from cow’s milk: milk, cream, whey, curd, and butter.

3 Namely, faith and confidence (saddhā), energy (viriya), mindfulness (sati), mental concentration (samādhi), and wisdom (paññā).

4 Ugga the householder was declared by Buddha to be the foremost among householders that waited on the Order of Saṅgha. Nandamātā (mother of Nanda), also known as lady of Velukanṭa, was an exemplary lay-woman disciples who waited on the Saṅgha.